From the Author: By often appealing to hyperactivity, parents, as it were, relieve themselves of responsibility for children’s behavior. However, when certain conditions and rules are created, the behavior of a hyperactive child is successfully corrected.
Tips for Parents of Hyperactive Children
Most often, parents notice difficulties in the behavior of the child after the start of school. It turns out that the child is restless, inattentive, distracted by everything, does not want and does not like to study, bullies at school, although in general they often say about such children: “Able, but lazy. Maybe when you want!”
It would seem, what is easier, sat down, pulled himself together and began to work to learn. However, it is precisely with such children that something happens at the first step. To sit down – he needs to make an effort.
I’ll note right away that ADHD, hyperactivity is a medical diagnosis, and neither a teacher nor a psychologist can diagnose it. They can only assume the presence of a syndrome based on some signs and redirect to a specialist. Successfully cope with the correction, correction of the behavior of such children – neuropsychologists.
But back to how parents can help their schoolchildren.
The greatest difficulties for such children are those subjects where it is necessary to focus their attention (Russian language, mathematics). Instruction: “Sit down and do your homework” is impossible for such children. They need a clear structure of space, time, a sequence of actions, their own algorithm for doing homework is important for them, they need an interest in the work they do.
1. Use “contact” more often – bodily, verbal, visual.
If you want to ask a child about something, make sure that he can see and hear you. Call by name, ask to look at you, touch your shoulder. This helps children focus on what you are saying to them.
2. Search for pluses.
Your child is the most wonderful, it remains to find these “pluses”. Encourage even the smallest successes of the child. Praise the child for his actions, for helping, for a successful line or combination of letters. Try to explain what exactly you praised him for. “You did your best today and your letters are straighter than yesterday” or “I saw how difficult it was for you, but you coped with this task!” or “I saw how hard it was for you to carry the package, but you helped me, I am very pleased”
3. Ritual dance
Enter daily errands, household chores that will be entirely the responsibility of the child. Do not do them for him, but tactfully remind him. It can be simple everyday things – make the bed, take out the trash, buy bread and milk , wash the dishes after evening tea or dinner, feed your pet.
4. Prohibitions and restrictions
Before introducing bans or rules, consider whether you can accurately enforce them or control their implementation. For example, depriving games on the computer for a month – will you be able to withstand this month of whining yourself, or by introducing restrictions on watching TV in a one-room apartment – can you control this?
4a. Prohibition boundaries.
Each prohibition should have a clear framework of what exactly is possible and what is not. So, if you forbade jumping on the couch, then offer in return – where you can jump.
5. Daily routine.
Given that in ADHD, excitation processes prevail over inhibition processes, the daily regimen, and even the weekly regimen, is important for such children. Good sleep, rest after school, breaks during homework – all this supports the integrity of the child and his attention.
The daily routine should be convenient not only for the child, but also for you and should be developed for a long time, for example, a week a month . So, the child will be less overtired, eat and rest on time. This will allow him to learn self-regulation, and you to be calmer.
6. Instructions and rules.
Hyperactive children need clear instructions like air. Remember that the phrase “Sit down and do your homework!” – is not effective for them? Such children need to break any task into small pieces and offer to perform no more than three actions at a time.
For example, “You need to do your homework. Take your briefcase and take out your diary.” (pause) “Which subject will you start with? Prepare a textbook, notebook, pen.
For such children, clear, transparent rules are important. “Sweet only after dinner” or “Walking 2 hours” or “Playing tablet 1 hour”.
7. Teach your child to finish what they started. This will help him concentrate on a specific task. Do it gently and politely, use a request, not an order (see point 1).
8. Organize your child’s workplace so that there are fewer distractions around him. It can be a corner in a quiet, calm place where there are no loud TV sounds, open doors, etc. Help your child prepare the workplace, clean up the excess, leave only what is useful now.
Hyperactive children, like all children, are naughty, drawn to the unlawful. Remember that control is not yet an affordable luxury for your child, he is only learning it with you. Try to remain calm, as you show the child the possibility of other behavior. Talk to your child about how his day went. If there is a conflict in his life, discuss it, offer a plan of action for such situations, teach him to apologize for his misdeeds.
For example, “You got angry with Vasya and kicked him. He prevented you from collecting notebooks. How else can you behave in such a situation?”
10. Emotions and feelings
Talk to your child in the language of feelings and experiences. “I was worried when your phone was not available” or “I got angry when I saw a puddle on the floor” or “I was upset when I found out that you hit a boy”
Offer your child different ways of interacting with other people, teach him to negotiate, offer games.
11. Make a joint reward list of what you can reward.
It can be pleasant little things, trips on joint walks, cinema, joint time at home, when you can just play draw, sculpt, indulge .
Hug the child, kiss him, talk about your love and how important and dear he is to you.