Question: Hello! Since birth, my son suffers from hyperactivity (diagnosis – MMD, GA with DV). He is 12 years old Inattention in everything, unwillingness to learn, deception, irritability when answering simple questions, unbalanced behavior with peers, disrespect for the female sex, renouncing one’s promises – this is an incomplete list of traits inherent in a guy. However, in addition to the negative traits, he is famous for the ability to tinker, eliminate defects in the PC, and help adults carry heavy burdens. My husband and I (48 years old and 38 years old) are tired of “struggling” with our son’s bad habits, and recently we ourselves have been experiencing imbalance from hopelessness, from disbelief in the best. I will not say that in childhood he was spoiled, more often everything was accompanied by punishment. It seemed that he would grow wiser with age. Now there is self-confidence in everything with a modest mind. At the moment, we have work close to home, there is an opportunity to look after my son. Please tell me the most effective measures in the upbringing of a teenager.
Answer:
It’s not about upbringing. This is a neurological problem and needs to be addressed at the neurological level. There are special rehabilitation programs for these children.
Your child already knows that he is not behaving very well, and he himself is no less upset with his behavior. He simply cannot do otherwise. He would have behaved differently if he could.
According to the description, this is similar to the delay in the development of the left hemisphere – when self-control and logical thinking suffers. And the right one goes forward – that is why he “understands with his hands” well – he repairs, makes crafts, but at the same time he cannot control his emotional state at all.
The condition of such a child must be understood. Conversations, persuasions, threats will not help here. Carrots and sticks cannot change neuroscience. You need to deal with him.
Some exercises, I can tell you. But in order for them to bring results, they must be performed regularly and for several months. And of course, the child will need your help, support and understanding.
You can help your child a lot if you study with him. For example, you can learn brain gymnastics with him.
Daniel Amen’s book “Great Brain at Any Age” contains a whole section on ADHD, which details the ways of non-drug treatment of ADHD with naturopathic remedies. This is also not a panacea, but there is a positive effect from them. I was convinced of this in practice many times.
There is a whole series of exercises aimed at developing the left hemisphere, I will describe them at the very end.
If you want to begin to better understand the state and motives of your child’s behavior – read the book “Exploding Child” by Ross Green. This is the most informative book on parenting children with self-control deficits.
If possible, take your child to a kinesiotherapist (usually they are at child development centers). Let the kinesiotherapist test the presence of primitive reflexes and, if necessary, prescribe a course.
If you find a specialist who works according to the Blomberg method – correction using rhythmic movements, this will also be very useful.
In short, there are a lot of options. You would have a desire and understanding that this needs to be done. And if you persist and continue to educate with a stick and a carrot, you will receive nothing but a physiologically immature person.
Now, as promised exercises, for the development of the left hemisphere.
If you have any questions, write to me at [email protected]
The following exercises should be performed at least 4 times a week, and preferably every day. The effect of them comes slowly, somewhere within 1-3 months.
Exercises can be performed simultaneously or sequentially, in any combination and in any sequence. The intensity is not important, the main thing is regularity.
1. Cover your child’s left eye with a pirate blindfold and let him wear it as much as he can (ideally 2 hours a day). Both eyes should be open, but the left eye should be completely darkened. The child can continue to do his usual activities, play, watch TV with a bandage. However, it is important to avoid hazardous activities such as cycling so that the child does not fall or get injured.
2. Close or plug the child’s right nostril and let him smell pleasant fruit aromas through the left nostril – the smell of fruits, chocolate, vanilla, lavender works well. Don’t use perfume. Stimulation should be moderate, do not bring the source of the scent too close. Play a game, ask him to close his eyes and let him smell the fruit. Gradually increase the distance, train your visual acuity.
3. The following exercise can be done in several ways. A) Plug your child’s right ear with earplugs and turn on the music in the room. Not loud at first so he can get used to the sounds. If he reacts strongly to music, then at first do not turn it on at all, even if he just walks with his ear shut for a while. B) You can use headphones if he is wearing them. In this case, tear off the wires from the right earphone so that the sound goes only to the left ear.
Music for such exercises should be light and calm, low sounds and bass should be avoided.
Very well suited “Air” Bach, “Swan” Saint-Sant, “Ave Maria” Schubert.
The music exercise is done for 30 minutes. In addition to exercising with music, you can cover his right ear when he watches cartoons or TV.
4. Rub or massage the right side of the body. Rub your right foot, right palm, and right ear.
5. Take a soft brush and lightly stroke it on the right palm. Draw geometric shapes, write numbers, letters, let him guess them – for example, you draw a circle, and he must guess that it is a circle. Write a number – name a number – train your tactile ability.
6. Teach him to balance while standing on his right leg. Ideally, he should be able to stand on his right leg for 30 seconds with his eyes closed. But start exercising with your eyes open.